by admin on November 27, 2008
Our Modern History student teacher gave us this a couple of weeks ago. She swore someone wrote it seriously, and while I’m not entirely convinced it’s still pretty funny.
Here goes:
“Dear Dr Stacey,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar of sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. Lev 25-44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both males and females, providing they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
4. I have a neighbour who insists on workig on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obliged to kill him myself?
5. Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20 or is there some wriggle room here?
6. I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
7. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field. He also tends to curse and blaspheme alot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just bring them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their inlaws? (Lev 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your faithful listener,
P. Uzzled
by admin on October 29, 2008
Only nine full school days left.
Yay.
(Shelly is cool.)
by admin on February 19, 2007
Okay, I haven’t written anything up here in a while. So sue me.
A fair bit’s actually happened lately. I started back at school again, only now with the four long days and
Monday’s off thing we’ve got going now. It felt really weird going back to school, after four and a half months holiday, but whatever, I got over it.
I got a job at the local chicken shop, which isn’t actually as gross as I thought it would be.
I’ve signed up for the student council (again). Who knows, it might even be good this year.
I’ve also signed up for hockey, both in and out of school. Rachel and I are the only two people on the entire team who have played before (this is school I’m talking about here). And we both suck. We’ve already established that we’re pretty much screwed. But hey, it could be a lot worse. Most of our friends are doing jewelry making. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Cough cough.
Hmmm, what to say?
Nothing.
That’s kind of depressing.
Bye.
Oooh!! Hang on, just remembered.
I got all my Japan photos printed and am currently putting them all into a scrapbook. I’m having the best time doing it, cause I bought heaps of origami paper and stuff while I was over there.
That’s really pathetic isn’t it? And not exactly the earning or learning thing admin keeps telling us we should be using our Mondays for. But whatever, this is from the same deputy who told us we all had to wear hats outside or we’ll get skin cancer on our legs.
Sadly, no. I’m not even joking.
Goodbye.
by admin on February 5, 2007
Well, it’s been a while since I wrote anything up here.
We’re all back at school now, though I don’t have to go on Monday’s anymore (YES!!!). Our deputy principal gave us a big long speech on the first day back about how honoured we should all be feeling as the first grades to go through the new system. “Making history” was how she termed it. I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s pretty cool. Except of course for the 7:55 start thing. I got my textbooks yesturday – seven monsters all up, including three, yes three, for Japanese. And we haven’t even got our English novel yet. So yesturday I went and bought a big backpack, cause I almost died the first day with my books in my shoulder bag.
What else?… I got a job at Lennard’s a bit over a week ago, which is good. I like it. I almost died last week though, cause I was working every day after school, so I wasn’t getting home until half past six. But it’s all good.
I don’t really have much more to say, so buh bye.
