February 2008

Just to let you know what kind of rubbish you’re reading, this post is
a) a year and a half old and
b) only funny to about three people.

I was just looking through a random exercise book and found a whole bunch of funny things that people kept saying during my three months in Japan.

I know I should probably just get over it, but they’re still hilarious (to me anyway) now.

So, basically by the end of our trip, Sarah, Kara and I had virtually no English skills left. We kept saying dumb things and couldn’t spell. This explains most of these things:

Don’t trod on my dreams.
Either Sarah or Kara said this first and after that we said it whenever someone disagreed with us.

Our English has gone down way hill.
Kara. Pretty much sums up the entire situation.

And whenever I managed to form a coherant sentance:

Don’t you use your smartness on us now, Laura.

And other odd quirks of Japan:

Power in the ricefields
The literal translation for the Japanese kanji for man. The woman kanji is scarily close to cheap.

A friend of the Nishiie’s, my host family:
Is the Gold Coast near New Zealand?

Everyone:
How do you do?
How do you even respond to that???

My host-dad referred to my host-mum as Mummy whenever he was talking to me.

There is a very popular Japanese band called Porno Graffiti. They are a sickeningly goody two shoes boy band.

The room where a lot of this stupid stuff took place:

Okay, that was so much fun I’m going to do it again…

Jaa ne!

At the beach last night with a bunch of people, walking out towards Currumbin Rock, which takes a couple of minutes to walk to from the carpark. It starts pouring. Really hard, so we all run to the rock, and stand in this little bit where the rock sticks out over the sand.

A man in a full suit, holding a bright pink floral umbrella, walks past in the pouring rain.

I can’t say I’ve ever been the biggest fan of school swimming carnivals. Or athletics carnival. Cross country I like, but that’s about it.

Today was our swimming carnival.

To be honest, the only real reason I went was because of all the people saying “You HAVE to come, it’s our last one.” So I went. That’s me, saying no to peer pressure. But I actually ENJOYED it, something otherwise completely unheard of.

I am in Duranbah (red and black), the house who’s crappiness is surpassed only by Bilinga, except Bilinga, as pink and yellow, have the ability to fail miserably with so much more flair than we do.

But anyway.

I went in

• the championship (very, very good swimmers) back stroke, despite the fact that I am neither a very, very good swimmer, or able to do backstroke.
• the championship breast stroke, but although I’m better at breast stroke than I am at back stroke, I’m still not good enough to be able to really compete in the championship event. But I did anyway.
• the championship freestyle. Same kind of deal.

My result….

Last, last, last. But in breast stroke, I was only last by a tiny bit. Sure, freestyle I was half a lap behind everyone else, but yeah…

Had heaps of fun though.

Best moment: picture this. Nerdy school captain with pasty skin, glasses, dressed as though he’s on the way to the country club and who has an unhealthy obsession with politics (but still awesome fun despite all this), bomb diving in the bomb diving competition, fully clothed, with everyone present (about 2/3 of the school) chanting his name. It was so random.

Also kind of funny: the deputy got booed when we’d all returned to school and were meant to be watching the limbo competition, but were throwing beach bowls around, hitting them up and stuff. She confiscated them.

Oh my god. I think I’m going to have to go to the athletics carnival this year.

Also, just to demonstrate the kinds of getups worn at the carnival:

Don’t drag heavy dividers with metal wheels across your foot. It really hurts and the side of your foot puffs up.

…my mum warns people when I’m going to be driving so they can stay off the roads?

Just found another one.

“Learning is not the filling of the bucket, but the lighting of the fire.” Anon.

They’re starting to contradict themselves.

AM I A BUCKET OR NOT???

One of the great mysteries of life.

Okay. So I couldn’t help myself. I read through like the entire school diary looking for more bizarre metaphors, quotes, whatever. And, guess what?

THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!

Therefore, I am forced (yes, forced) to create a list.

The Pizza of Life
I don’t understand what the Pizza of Life is trying to tell me (something about how the smallest piece is the hardest to chew!?!), but I’m sure it makes sense to someone.

“Success means getting your ‘but’ out of the way.” Anon.
What?? There’s nothing wrong with my butt.

“Be a fountain, not a drain.” Anon.
What is it with these diaries and water metaphors? Besides, I thought I was a bucket?

“Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.” Anon.
It’s true. We’re not allowed into the classrooms until the teacher is there. Also because they’re often locked and we need the teacher’s key to get in. This Anon. fellow certainly knows my school well.

“The Show begins after the Show is over.” J.E. Jones
I seriously have no idea what this bloke/ blokette is on about.

“The doors of opportunity are marked ‘push’.” Anon.
The doors at school open outwards. To enter, you pull.

“An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.” Arab proverb
No. Just no. Sheep have entirely too much fluff to kill lions. Although maybe if you shear them first… No. Then they’re just massively skinny and weak looking.

And, my personal favourite, drumroll please….

Continued suspense…

“Many drops fill the bucket.” Anon.
Because I’m a bucket! So even if my teacher’s just a leaky old tap that needs it’s washer replaced, my bucket will still be filled! Hooray for buckets!!! (Joke. Still only want to be a Bucket if I receive a chocolate factory and glass elevator in the deal. Otherwise it’s just not worth it.)

This is what happens when you attend a public school.

Happy 100th post to me,
Happy 100th post to me,
Happy 100th post dear laurasinclair.com.au
Happy 100th post to me.

That’s actually pretty cool.